From the beginning.....

So it all starts back in October of last year. I wasn't feeling right, but I wasn't late on my period yet, but I went ahead and took a test, it came back negative. I was so happy!!!! I just passed my nursing boards 2 weeks prior and everything was going great in my life, just how I planned. I went to a friends house, came home later that night, still didn't feel right so I took the test out of the garbage and it said positive. I freaked out!!!!! So I read instructions and it said if waiting more then 10 minutes and then reading it it could be false. So I thought good- whew!!! But I couldn't shake it, so I starting drinking a lot of water. By now it's 1:30 a.m. And went to get another one. Took it and it came out positive. I was in complete shock!!!!! I couldn't believe we were pregnant-( with our last we tryed for 3 years, fertility, and we haven't prevented anything for over 5.5 years. We were told in June we couldn't get pregnant due to my ovarian cysts. Mike was schedueling his vasectomy and God must of heard us because obviously he had a totally different plan for us and we were not done.)I started screaming, crying, a whole lot of emotions came flooding in. I have a son going into high school, all my kids are in school- I finally have freedom, my life is so easy, I just went to school for 4 years to go do what I always wanted to do, my oldest wants to go to Hope- were going to have 1 in college and 1 in pre school. I'll need a bigger car,etc..... The list goes on. I flipped out. I rocked my self in the bathroom for 2 hours just trying to wrap myself around the idea of another. Life is so easy for us right now. I went into bed,but I couldn't stop crying, Mike woke up and asked what is wrong- I told him and he said ok well talk about it in the morning. It is now 4 am. He rolled over and went to bed like it was no big deal. Hello!!!!! Were starting over!!!!! I didn't understand how he could be so calm. He took it way better then I did.....

3 days later Mike left for Texas early in the morning for a week. Around 8 am I started bleeding. Just laid low that day. Bleed all day and night. Called the doctor in morning,they did Hcg levels and said just wait it out but most likely I was miscarrying. Thursday they did blood work again and Hcg levels were higher but not where they're suppose to be. They did an ultrasound that day and saw a sack but no baby- too soon to see if there's a baby,so just go home and wait. Easier said then done- especially since Mikes out of town. So 2 weeks come and go- still bleeding. 7 weeks have ultrasound and saw a heart beat,melted our hearts but still worried because I'm bleeding so much. We meet with our specialist OB DR that day. All my pregnancies were high risk( diabetes,preclamsia,low fluid, preterm labor at 4 months with all of them, you name it I've had it) so it is kind of nice to have a high risk doctor that we know and love, he prayed with us and said only 2 percent chance of miscarriage now. We walked out of there still worried, Mikes and I 2nd child past away at 14 weeks gest. Due to spina bifida so we are not out of the clear yet we thought. So dr. Appt every 4 weeks and ultrasound every 4 weeks is the plan. 4 pills of folic acid due to spina bifida(our 4th was born with a mild form also-so 2 out of 4 have it)1 81 mg aspirin for preclamsia( had it with the last 2) and a z PAC for the preterm labor to prevent and a prenatal. Mike jokes I need a pill container!!! So we have a plan in place.
Weeks go by and still bleeding- have decided not to tell anyone were pregnant except close family because we don't know what's going to happen, with the bleeding and spina bifida.
This pregnancy has been great really the best feeling one at least. I didn't gain a lot of weight at the beginning so no one could tell either. So we decided after the ultrasound at 21 weeks we'd tell people. But we just didn't get around to it. So when we went to our ultrasound at 24 weeks and found out we have issues,people just don't even know were expecting let alone what we have have gone through.
So still through this whole thing I'm still bleeding. 4 weeks ago went in for the usual ultrasound and appt. They found why I am bleeding. My placenta is missing 2 chunks out of it and is starting to detach from my uterine wall(placenta abruptio) I was I think in shock. Cried all the way home. Why Lord can I not have 1 normal pregnancy out of 5. WHY??? I was heartbroken, truly. Crying while I'm writing. So bed rest again for the 4 th time. I thank God my kids are older this time around that they can take care of themselves for the most part. So that night Mike and I just cryed and kind of mourned together. We found some amazing blogs of people that had 24 threw 28 week old babies and gave us some hope. We relied on these blogs a lot. I mean how can a baby survive at 24 weeks? I was just devastated!! I thank God for blogs, I know that sounds crazy but it has helped so much. So I hope mine helps someone.
So the last 4 weeks I have really been doing nothing, so then yesterday getting ready for today I thought okay prepare,prepare... I always think the worst- that's who I am. So very nervous for today.
Mike and I left at 8:30 got there and had our ultrasound. Baby is 2 lbs 11 oz-give or take some. Meet with dr after u/s. I gained only 5.8 lbs which is good, very good,loving food!!!! Swiss cake rolls and coke!!!! No GDM,no protein in urine everything good so far. Dr came in, not good-placenta is even farther detached and blood is pooling behind it. It's called a chronic placenta abruptio. It is slivering down. Her goal last time was 28 weeks and we made it to 28 weeks so very happy for that. 80 percent survival at this point. So she sat down and talked to us about having a c section. Even if I went into labor on my own my placenta would not hold up in labor. I'm so devasted. I just wanted 1. 1 normal pregnancy!!!! I could not even do that. I'm just so sad and mad and a whole kind of mix of emotions. They gave baby steroids today at noon and called my high risk DR in GR. We see him tomorrow and get our next dose of steroids. So lots of prayers tonight. Lots of tears tonight. I just can't believe from the beginning of not wanting this baby to now of wanting this baby more then anything. I believe God has a plan for everything and we trust and hope in him for all things. One of us will post tomorrow an update. Please pray for my anxiety for a c section, the baby to be healthy and that tomorrow will go as great as it can be. God we love you and know that you know all things.....